im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize