i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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