SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
