i jhust puked up my retainher.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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