I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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