We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize