I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
