Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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