So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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