get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
zippers are such a cool invention
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
