in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
