i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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