I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
