I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
