Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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