At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
