Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
