great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
