I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize