That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
