hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
