There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize