Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We have started to decorate penises.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
