woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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