Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
