drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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