Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
