Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
