How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
how does that bad decision feel?
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