I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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