okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
