And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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