Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We don't watch enough power rangers
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
