bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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