I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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