The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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