only if we run a train.
done.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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