everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
