You smell like stripper and shame
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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