New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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