You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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