Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
