Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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