I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
