We won't sleep together?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
