Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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