I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
