Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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