The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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