I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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