he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
