tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
