I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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