He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
