Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
