32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
