When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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