How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
