i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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