I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
