Me too!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm really busy with my period
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