OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
