No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
