billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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