no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
