pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
