idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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