I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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